Offering to Pause: Interrupting Escalation in Real Time

Engage: What Escalation Looks Like (5–7 minutes)

• Ask students: “What are signs that a conversation is starting to escalate?”
• Write responses on the board. Students may mention:
  • Raised voices
  • Interrupting
  • Sarcasm
  • Eye-rolling
  • Personal attacks
  • Shutting down
• Introduce: Escalation often happens automatically when stress increases

Mini-Lesson: The Power of a Pause (5-7 minutes)

• Explain:
  • When stress rises, the brain shifts into defensive mode
  • Pausing can interrupt that pattern
  • Clarify:
    • Offering a pause is not:
      • Giving up
      • Avoiding conflict
      • Losing
  • It is:
    • Protecting the relationship
    • Protecting yourself
    • Creating space for clarity
• Introduce the concept: Offering a pause is a form of courage because it resists the impulse to escalate.

Role-Play Practice (15–20 minutes)

• In pairs, provide low-intensity scenarios (e.g., disagreement about group project roles, misunderstanding a text message, online comment conflict).
  • Round 1:
    • One student plays escalation
    • The other practices offering a pause

• Round 2:
  • Switch roles.

• After each round, partners reflect:
  • How did it feel to offer a pause?
  • How did it feel to receive one?
  • What wording felt respectful?

Whole-Class Reflection (5-10 minutes)

• Facilitate discussion:
  • Why can offering a pause feel difficult?
  • What fears might stop someone from doing it?
  • How might this interrupt a cycle of harm?
• Highlight: Pausing changes moments. Moments change patterns.

Reflection & Closing (5 minutes)

• Students complete an exit reflection:
  • One situation where I might offer a pause is…
  • One phrase I feel comfortable using is…

• Optional prompt: How is offering a pause a form of courage?

Educator Support

• Facilitation Tips
  • Keep scenarios low-intensity
  • Model calm tone
  • Reinforce that pauses require mutual respect
  • Avoid framing pause as avoidance

• Differentiation
• Provide printed sentence starters
• Allow students to write responses instead of role-play
• Offer observer role for students uncomfortable acting

• Assessment
  • Participation in role-play
  • Ability to identify escalation signs
  • Exit reflections demonstrating understanding

• School Support
  • This activity is safe for most contexts and supports conflict-resolution programming.